Jun. 16th, 2012

innocent_man: (shark)
Deep Blue Sea is a horror movie starring Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, a pre-Thor Stellan Skarsgard and a pre-Nick-Fury Samuel L. Jackson. The scientists (including Skarsgard and Burrows) are experimenting on sharks and making their brains bigger so they can harvest their brain proteins and cure Alzheimers. The science is fuzzier than Michael Rappaport's face, here; basically it's along the same lines as the bullshit "sharks don't get cancer so let's eat them then we won't either!" thing, but they manage to make it sound movie-plausible.

But then, see, they made the sharks' brains bigger so they got smarter (a character actually manages to deliver that line and sound shocked), and the sharks chase them around the facility (once it's flooded, in a sequence that's actually pretty disturbing), and eat most of them. The only survivors are LL Cool J and Thomas Jane.

I love sharks and I love monster movies, and I like watching the cast get whittled down. The biggest shock of the movie is, of course, Jackson getting eaten out of nowhere, but there are some good jumps in other places, too. The CGI for the sharks is ludicrous, and the dialog is bloody awful, but the cast takes it seriously - can't tell if that makes it better or worse.

It was interesting watching this and DeepStar Six consecutively - I'll mention this again in my next review, but Deep Blue Sea is really dour for a monster movie. It's more horror-drama than horror-action, but unfortunately with the dialog as bad as it is that doesn't float. There are some fun lines, but nothing really standout. LL Cool J is fun to watch, and some of the cast has some obviously interesting backstory, but we never learn enough to make it interesting. Oh, and absolutely nothing comes of all the death - the scientists all get eaten and all their research is destroyed. So, y'know, all a total waste. Another Fiasco movie?

My grade: D+
Rewatch value: Solid medium

Next up: DeepStar Six
innocent_man: (snorkel)
DeepStar Six is a late 80s monster movie starring, apparently, a bunch of 80s TV folks (Greg Evigan, whom Michelle knew from BJ and the Bear, which I never watched) and a big, rubbery monster. Also some models.

The crew of the DeepStar is putting a missle silo on the ocean floor. Their resident scientist (Nia Peeples, who's really lovely but talks too damn fast) warns the rest of the crew that just blowing up caverns is going to get them eaten by something, but the rest of them just want to get the fuck home. Oh, and McBride (Evigan) and his lady Collins (Nancy Everhard) are dealing with what happens with their relationship when they get topside. All normal stuff.

But then they blow up a cavern and a thing takes out their remote vehicle, and then destroys their sub-facility, and...wow. The monster looks like a big damn lobster (it is actually identified as "some kind of arthropod, but big, very big") and it is violently attracted to light. Also able to survive multiple nuclear explosion. I know, right?

Look, it's a monster movie. This one has some better dialog than Deep Blue Sea, but it's not because the dialog is better, but because the actors (perhaps better accustomed to bad dialog, since they're mostly TV folks) deliver it with conviction. There are some nice, gory deaths and a fun mental breakdown from Snyder (Miguel Ferrer), and then a finale that looks like it was filmed in someone's bathtub. The movie is awful, but very watchable. Total Alien knockoff, but stripped of any intelligence. Oh, and directed by Sean Cunningham, who also gave us Friday the 13th, for what it's worth.

My Grade: D
Rewatch value: Medium

Next up: Demolition Man

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