innocent_man: (bi)
[personal profile] innocent_man
Alexander is a myth-ish telling of the life of Alexander the Great, directed by Oliver Stone, which means the movie has a big slice of WTF.

Alexander (Colin Farrel) is born into a truly fucked up family, with Angelina Jolie as his mother and one-eyed Val Kilmer as his father. He grows up with his mother literally telling him he's the son of Zeus, and his dad being all drunk and rapey. Aristole (Christopher Plummer) is his mentor, who tries to keep him realistic, but he winds up watching his father get murdered, maybe with his mother's help, and then undertakes a campaign into Persia and proceeds to conquer the world, marries a Babylonian princess, doesn't have kids, makes out with some men along the way, and finally gets spear by a dude on an elephant, survives that, drinks some poisoned (?) wine, and dies. Finally.

Like I said, it's a Stone film, so it goes on a lot longer than it should have. The cast is good, the acting is good, the dialog isn't horrible, but the movie is endless, non-chronological, and not all that interesting. It kind of tries to be epic and it kind of tries to be Braveheart, but it winds up be just kind of unpleasant and interminable. Weird camera work toward the end as he's dying, and some wibbling about the difference between myth and reality and comparisons between Alexander and Achilles and Prometheus that never really go anywhere.

Basically, we could have left this one in Oklahoma and I'd have been just as happy. But Michelle figured maybe we'd get to see Colin Farrel make out with Jared Leto, and that's an ambition worth pursuing, I suppose.

My grade: D
Rewatch Value: IINSIAIFWT

Next up: Beastmaster


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