innocent_man: (bunk)
[personal profile] innocent_man
Drop Dead Fred is a movie I only own because Domino's Pizza did a promotion, like, a decade ago where you got a terrible movie with their terrible pizza. I've never touched it until now. I wish I had ordered Papa John's instead.

Anyway, the movie is about Lizzie (Phoebe Cates, the girl from Gremlins), an emotionally abused woman on the verge of divorce to her cheating husband (Tim Matheson in a mullet) and bullied by her terrible mother (Marsha Mason). After losing her car, her job and what shreds of her dignity remain all in one day (she loses her job as a court reporter, by the way, because her car is stolen and she's too stupid to call someone collect at the courthouse and report this, oh and I'm pretty sure if you're a court reporter a judge can't just fire you on the spot, because I'm sure you belong to a union STUPID MOVIE), she moves back in with her mother (at mom's insistence) and discovers the box in which her childhood imaginary friend, the titular Drop Dead Fred (Rik Mayall, aka Lord Flashheart from Blackadder) was imprisoned.

Whew. It only get stupider.

Fred proceeds to wreck her life. But see, before we go any further, here's why this movie is terrible. Fred is, supposedly, an imaginary friend. But he does things in the real world. He tracks dog shit on a rug. He breaks things, he moves Lizzie's body. He writes her a note, which her mother is also able to read, which cements that he is a real, physical presence. He sinks a woman's house boat (Carrie Fisher - the woman, not the boat), and then said woman flips out and attacks a chair where Lizzie tells her Fred is sitting.

The movie improves incrementally if you view Fred as a World of Darkness-esque spirit of chaos, but that doesn't help the other issues. Issues like, Lizzie's childhood buddy (Ron Eldard) who falls in love with Lizzie after she acts crazy (and not, like, quirky-crazy, schizophrenic). Her father walks out on them when Lizzie is a little girl, in protest of her terrible mother sealing Fred up in a box, but we never see him again. Her shrink tells her to take these pills, which "deactivate" the part of the brain that deals with "imaginary friend syndrome."

ARRRRRGH. The script is so amazingly bad, lazy and insulting that it's a wonder anyone, especially Fisher (who should know better) signed on. Mayall, who is capable of being funny, just yells and acts horrible throughout. There is not one redeeming person in the movie, and nothing about it is fun to watch.

So glad it's off the list. Now I can look forward to never seeing it again.

My Grade: F
Rewatch Value: IINSIAIFWT

Next up: Drop Dead Gorgeous


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